Resolve

We are in St Louis for a long weekend to visit some of Snugs' old college and post-college friends. We flew with Peanut for the first time and she did so well. Pretty sure that she was just excited to have our undivided attention for the 1.5 hrs of the flight.
Having a kid with us on a "vacation" changes everything! Normally we'd be out non-stop, packing our days full of time with friends and checking out fun things in the city. Now our day consists of quickly seeing people between naps and then back home for the evening by 7:30 or 8 for bedtime. We've learned with our little kiddo that keeping her naps and bed somewhat on schedule is necessary, otherwise she turns into a whining, wailing mess. Prior to having kids, I was determined that my child would conform their schedule to mine and that we could maintain our busy social life even with a little one in tow. HA!! I can say with much humility that I was wrong!
We're fortunate enough to stay with some friends down here, thus making our trip that much more cost-friendly. These are friends from Snugs' old church down here and wonderful, hospitable people. They have a 6 year old girl, whose favorite past-times this weekend have been talking Snugs' ear off and chasing Peanut around with toys, and a 2 year old boy, who is a holy terror, to put it nicely. Part of the problem is that he's a very energetic kid and the other part is that I have yet to see a single bit of discipline instituted by the parents. I mean, we are talking throwing giant basketballs around the living room, running up and smacking his sister fully in the chest with hardly a blink of the eye by the parents, full-out screaming bloody murder at bedtime, and getting up and running around the restaurant at dinner. It gives me a knot in my stomach to watch it all. I know it's not my battle to fight and I have no business saying anything about it, so I'll say my piece here. I know that I was raised in a fairly strict home and not everyone else was, but it's amazing that parents lack the ability to look at their kids' behavior and wonder if maybe their child rules the roost instead of the parents. Is it a result of kids being in day care full time and therefore the parents don't have the time or energy at the end of the day to discipline? Is it just parenting style that the adults have decided on? Is it because parents are too absorbed in the computer/iPhone/TV in front of them to pay attention to their child's behavior? (Note: as I am typing this, the 2 year old is running circles around the kitchen at 9:30 pm, playing with toys, instead of being in bed, because he threw a GIANT blood-curdling screaming fit and his mom just let him not go to bed yet. Yeah, because he just re-learned the fact that if he throws a tantrum, then mom gives in. And while he's creating chaos in the kitchen, mom is checking her email and saying "Honey, do you really need to do that?")
All of this just hardens my resolves (is that the right terminology?) to be a parent who creates boundaries and adheres to them. While I know that my little Peanut is a very well-behaved and mild-mannered baby, she will hit the terrible twos at some point and will test the boundaries that we will have hopefully carefully and mindfully created to help her understand authority and that some behaviors just are not ok.
I know I shouldn't be hard on the people who have graciously opened their home to us, but I need to get this out!! I am appalled. The other thing that has me cringing during this stint is the CONSTANT use of the TV. We watch very little TV at home, we don't have cable/satellite/DVR, and we are extremely content with this plan. Here, it is on at ALL times. There hasn't been a single moment when it's been off, except when they are gone. The TV is on the instant they are home and the kitchen/dining/living rooms are all centered around the giant screen. Kids eat in front of it, dad watched TV while playing on the computer while the kids are running around whacking each other, and it's a constant source of noise. I think we saw at least 6 hours of Nickelodeon/Disney/PBS channels this morning.
Again, this just hardens my resolve... to have kids who know the joys of playing outside, having space to run around and use their imaginations, to learn about nature, to love reading, to be at the zoo or museums or parks, and to understand that TV and movies are exceptions to their daily routine and not the norm. I grew up liking the cartoons and shows of my day, so don't think I grew up without a TV, but it was a small part of my day and all of the things I want my kids to know about are the things that filled my days. I know that Snugs had a similar experience growing up and I am SO very thankful for a man who doesn't veg in front of the TV the second he gets home and then watch ESPN all day Saturday. We always joke about how that would have been a deal-breaker for me and there's no way we'd be together if he was like that.
OK, I have said my piece. It's off to bed in the room we're sharing with Laila and I know she'll be awake at 6 or so, making funny little happy sounds when she realizes that her fingernails make scratching sounds on the side of the pack 'n' play. So cute!